Tuesday, August 05, 2008

I want to conduct a little test. I have been doing this little blog of mine for a little while now, and I really don't think anyone out there in blog-onia is reading the damn thing. I mean, I've only had, like, one comment, and I KNOW who that was from!!!

So, here's your test, peoples......


If you came with a warning label, what would it say?


Mine would be: Contents of package are much larger than outside of package would appear. If shaken or upset, contents will have a tendency to explode.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

This product is meant for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to any other real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Decision of judges is final.
This supersedes all previous notices.

thespianwells said...

Misuse may lead to property damage and bodily injury. Do not use for personal hygiene. Product will be hot after heating. Do not eat. Contains nuts. Do not attempt to stop chainsaw with your hands or genitals.

Anonymous said...

High Speed Come Apart Imminent

RainbowDemon1952 said...

If you think you got problems, look at me!!!

Anonymous said...

Caution: Not for use by just anyone just those with mental problems.

ryseja said...

Caution: Do not ask what this person is doing, as he appears more willing to explain himself than he truly is. And do not falsly laugh at his jokes. He knows they are lame.