Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I loves my Pajiba. Most of you know this, and are Pajibaholics yourself. So, imagine my immense JOY today to find the 2010 Pajiba Ten--the 10 most bangable celebs out there. I would like to re-post my faves. And, yes, I've included a couple of the girlys, too. Enough alcohol and who knows what could happen? I have to admit, I don't get a couple of the guys on the list.....and the fact that Robert Downey Jr. has attainted Permanent Hall of Fame Status (along, in my mind, with Jude Law, Hugh Jackman and maybe Josh Holloway) leaves me with only a few that are absolute MUSTS. Pay particular attention to #1. Look at any of my wedding pix. Yes, I have a thing for that.......

10. Zooey Deschanel : Sometimes I think that Zooey Deschanel is just too much, and that if she didn’t exist Wes Anderson would have to invent her. She was named after a Salinger character by her arty-but-not-too-famous parents, is married to the dude from Death Cab for Cutie, and sings cool jazz standards with a smoky elegance that leaves pretenders like Scarlett Johansson frozen at the starting line. Deschanel is every slightly left-of-center, alt-rock nerd’s fantasy girl — the complete, Indie package you’d push Natalie Portman out of the way for.

With immense, slightly googly-eyes, Deschanel is beautiful in a way that would hit you over the head in the real world, but in the context of celebrity seems almost subtle. This gives her an accessible quality, like a diamond in the rough you might actually know and flirt with at the coffee shop instead of some numinous entity that exists only on the pages of magazines.

Although she possesses the strong, angular features of a model, there’s an inclusive rather than exclusive aspect to her appearance. She conveys an appealing sense of wonder and modesty, and you get the sense that she’s an old soul, somebody that is more generous to the world around her than it is to her.

Her deadpan delivery, that often feels like it comes from a great distance, seems utterly honest rather than sarcastic, as if she’s telling a truth that the rest of us lack the courage, or sensitivity, to articulate. She’s like a really, really good looking version of Miranda July, and you just want to be so lucky as to grow old with her, luxuriating in her voice, as year after year she sings “Baby It’s Cold Outside” on Christmas Eve. — Michael Murray

9. James McAvoy : James McAvoy should not be sexy. He’s a bit short, inarguably scrawny, and lacking in the sort of chiseled good looks that distinguish most leading men. But there’s just a look about him, an intensity and confidence in his gaze and movements that says “you’re going to do whatever I want, and you’ll like it.” He can drop panties from across the room with a well-timed smirk. This quality can make certain roles of his, like Mr. Tumnus in The Chronicles of Narnia far more unsettling than they should be (Anyone wonder how many pubescent girls are going to have a thing for satyrs after that?) but means his role in Atonement was heartbreakingly romantic and his work in Wanted the stuff that guilty pleasures are made of. It doesn’t hurt that he’s actually a talented actor, so you don’t have to justify your appreciation of his roles with a mumbled “Well, I just like it, OK?” or hide the DVDs of his movies in the cases of better movies. (Not Wanted. That movie is best watched with the sound off because it’s very pretty but very stupid. And everyone will know you own it for exactly that reason.) I suppose I should say something here about him being the “thinking woman’s sex symbol” but I’ve always hated that phrase because it implies a more intellectual attraction than a physical one, and I think all the women out there who voted for Mr. McAvoy had some very physical plans for him when they wrote his name down. And that’s without even touching on that delightful accent of his. He could make the lamest “Ya got annae Scottish in ya? Would yea like some?” line a winner. — Intern Rusty

7. David Tennant : David Tennant was introduced to many of us, myself included, as the Tenth Doctor. And sure, he quickly endeared himself to many a woman-kind with his pleasing aesthetics and flashy smile (complete with those weird “new teeth” of his). But Tennant’s portrayal of the good Doctor is more than just a pretty boy perpetually running both literally (where, by the way, can I get me a pair of his comfy-looking sneaks?) and figuratively (in a wibbly wobbly timey wimey sense). That literal running was but a part of Tennant’s innate physical comedy which, itself, was but a part of the playfulness, charm, and wit Tennant imbued the Doctor with. While that made Tennant’s performance enjoyable, what made it impressive was that over forty-odd episodes Tennant was able to continually show us glimpses of the Doctor’s time-and-space spanning intellect, heartbreaking sorrow and world-shattering rage in a way that seemed to take absolutely no effort whatsoever. If I were an actor, I’d hate him for the ease with which he seemed to wear the role.
Tennant’s placement on this list is also helped by the fact that he seems, off the telly and in real life, to be just as warm and witty as fans hope. So it was no surprise that the announcement of Tennant’s departure from “Doctor Who” left many feeling aggrieved, because fans wanted Tennant to go even less than Ten, himself, wanted to go. But the good news is that this leaves Tennant free to go new places, and if his titular performance in Hamlet with Sir Patrick Stewart, which was an absolutely wonderful blend of the Doctor and the Bard, is any indication of things to come, I’m ready to join him. Allons-y! — Seth Freilich


6. Rachel Weisz : Rachel Weisz. How amazing is she? Her big break was in The Mummy, of all things (after small roles in films like Stealing Beauty). And its sequel, The Mummy Returns. The thought of her kissing Brendan Fraser makes me want to tear the world apart. It’s not right, you know? Fortunately, it didn’t take long for Ms. Weisz, now only 40 years old, to take Hollywood by the throat and slap it around some. She’s an Academy Award winner (The Constant Gardener). She fought demons in Constantine. She’s wooed by Hugh Grant in About a Boy and loved across time by Hugh Jackman in The Fountain. None of them deserve her. She’s a stunning actress, and to boot, absolutely gorgeous, the kind of reserved beauty that’s rare in Hollywood. Her ability to portray such a wide array of characters is what makes her amazing and intriguing, and a radiant smile and strangely sexy eyebrows certainly help. She’s also utterly adorable in the underappreciated The Brothers Bloom. But most importantly, Rachel Weisz is a real woman, a grown up, mature, intelligent actress who picks her parts carefully (she gets a Mulligan for her voice work on Eragon), and plays her roles with passion and grace. Coupled with a breathtaking sexiness and unique beauty and, well…whew. I need a minute. — TK


1. Timothy Olyphant : Now, down where I’m from — Oklahoma, to be precise — one commonly observes a lot of fellows walking around in cowboy hats. Most of these guys look rather ridiculous, unlike the fetching top pick on this list. Quite simply, nobody looks as good while doffing a cowboy hat as Timothy Olyphant does, and no mere mortal or demi-god could hope to match that sexually-charged killer swagger either. However, one thing that has yet to be proven (although I do have my suspicions) is whether Olyphantastic (my eternal gratitude to whomever truly coined that term) could successfully pull off sporting a Stetson and nothing else at all (alright, he can bring the spurs too). Still, even though I’ve got an obvious fondness for his lawman look (and, given his roles in Deadwood, Justified, and The Crazies, he seems rather happy to continually oblige the sex-in-uniform concept), he’s always truly a pleasure to witness onscreen and just convinces in every damn role. Undoubtedly, part of his appeal is a set of peepers that, both in intensity and ability to speak wordless volumes, rivals that of Michael Biehn, and an ass that, well, just look at that ass. It could make angels weep because not even Heaven contains such sheer perfection in symmetrical form. As if that weren’t enough to cause spontaneous twitching of the ovaries, just witness the mesmerizing ability of this man to use his entire body to kiss a woman into certifiable insanity. In other words, ride ‘em hard, cowboy. — Agent Bedhead

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