Monday, March 09, 2009


We waited.....in anticipation.....of the GREATEST CINEMATIC TRIUMPH OF THE 21ST CENTURY!!! Was this it? Was it worth the hype, the money, the wait.......ummm, sorta, kinda....not really.




Yeah, we've been waiting for months upon months for "Watchmen" to finally open. I don't know a lot about the source material (GOTTA read it now) but it looked awesome, and any time there are copious amounts of violence and gore, and super-hero-y-ness thrown in, I'm good to go. So, the kids and head out Saturday afternoon, ready for an exciting afternoon.




We get to the theatre before the doors are even open, and for the first time in my life, we are the FIRST people in to buy our tickets!!! It's a whole 1/2 hour before the show starts, but thats ok. More time to get snacks, snag our fave seats (middle of the back row, baby!) and make fun of the ads before the previews. Get our 5 gallon drums of pop and head up to the seats. People filter in, but not as many as I expected. Of course, it was a beautiful, 70-some degree Saturday afternoon, so many people are out and about. I do notice, however, that someone way down front has what appears to be at least one small child (definitely under 10). Hmmm, dunno if this is a real small kid friendly movie.....yet.




Trailers....."Wolverine" looks good (the world needs more shirtless Hugh Jackman, I say!! And Ryan Reynolds is pretty), "Observe and Report" looks funny, a funny take on "Paul Blart". Is it wrong that I'm a little in love with Seth Rogan? Anywho, on to the show.....


It opens with a bang, that's for sure....then, into the opening credits which were FANTASTIC!!! Brilliantly staged, lit, everything. Beautiful.....and.......wtf???? All this anticipation, and ....meh. It was ...ok. I wondered, when you first got a GOOD look, after thinking, "Did I really just see that? No, I couldn't have..." of Dr. Manhattan's blue wang, if the folks with the little kiddies started to regret their decision.


Yeah, I wasn't prepared for almost 3 hours of azure weiner. As I said, I'm not that familiar with the source material, so, umm, didn't know there was gonna be a naked blue guy in most of the movie. I also didn't know there was gonna be some fairly graphic sex, for an R-rated action movie. The violence?? LOTS of it, with LOTS of blood, and bones popping thru the skin, and hanging bones and meat....but I LOVE that kinda stuff. But, having a scene where it looked like the Blue Man Group was gettin' it on with Laurie Jupiter? Kinda...wrong.


Overall? AWESOME effects, truly awesome. Lots of pretty colors. LOTS of violence, and sex. Jackie Earl Haley as Rorschach was out of this world, and Jeffrey Dean Morgan (who my kids and I thought was the bigger, meaner, slightly less attractive RDJ) did a great job. The other actors? You could pretty much replace them with cardboard cut-outs.....even my beloved Matt Frewer was wasted. Seriously, my absolute favorite part of the movie was the opening credits, with the live-action photos showing the history of the "Watchmen." Had the whole movie been more like that, it might have been a little better.


Don't get me wrong...I didn't hate it. It was good. It just.....wasn't what I expected. I assume that true, loyal fans of the comic are beside themselves. I'll get it on dvd, but ..... I guess "Iron Man" and "The Dark Knight" just set the bar a little too high......

1 comment:

Mr. Controversy said...

As someone familiar with the source material...yeah, I was a little underwhelmed too.

However, if I may suggest a theory, Watchmen isn't easy to digest. If you're a newcomer, you're trying to grasp the story and you're trying to make sense of what you just saw. (Also, you're trying not to think of the big blue wang. Seriously, they say Avatar is f**king our eyeballs this year? Not after Billy's Crudup in our eyes.)

If you're an old (or relatively new) faithful, you're trying to grasp the differences in the story, the telling of the story through visual medium, and trying to either decry/defend the choices Zach Snyder made as director. (Also, trying not to think of the big blue wang. GORRAM!)

Either way, you're gonna LOVE the book, and we've got two extended cuts coming, so I think we're good. (It was still a pretty good movie though. Better than most of the pap being foisted on the masses today.)